tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post8694566173974946368..comments2024-03-19T05:47:41.701-04:00Comments on Chemjobber: A Chemjobber holiday traditionChemjobberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15932113680515602275noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-56778144597499701812014-12-23T10:51:22.574-05:002014-12-23T10:51:22.574-05:0025) I just made 10K on my biotech stock portfolio....25) I just made 10K on my biotech stock portfolio. Why would you have any trouble finding a job? In fact MEGAPHARMALAND was a leader in my portfolio. They are probably just cutting the 'deadwood' right?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-1756431114007170382014-12-23T08:47:33.958-05:002014-12-23T08:47:33.958-05:00The sad thing is, I still believed #7 and #11 (the...The sad thing is, I still believed #7 and #11 (the ones about getting a job at MEGABIOGENE or becoming a professor) when I started grad school.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-52314660838388449792014-12-22T14:21:43.471-05:002014-12-22T14:21:43.471-05:00Gallows humor.Gallows humor.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-64968112755924296562014-12-22T12:47:09.491-05:002014-12-22T12:47:09.491-05:00What questions would you suggest, Ash? What questions would you suggest, Ash? Chemjobberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15932113680515602275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-51165322070115872112014-12-22T12:43:40.497-05:002014-12-22T12:43:40.497-05:00I think having a similar letter for a recently lai...I think having a similar letter for a recently laid off family member or friend would also be very fruitful.Wavefunctionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14993805391653267639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-2101491198606774062014-12-22T10:50:31.344-05:002014-12-22T10:50:31.344-05:00Why is this labeled as ''FUN''?Why is this labeled as ''FUN''?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-50091028803038171642014-12-19T23:50:04.642-05:002014-12-19T23:50:04.642-05:00Be interesting to have a pharma pending layoff edi...Be interesting to have a pharma pending layoff edition....<br /><br />Dear family member,<br />Your loved one who works in pharma/chemical giant will be visiting you this holiday season. Please do not bring up the following questions:<br />1) I hear MEGAPHARMALAND is laying off in your region. You are really smart, so your job must be safe right?<br />2) Are there a lot of companies hiring in your town? Hey! Now you can finally move to [rural home town] and be by us! Look the news paper says hospital needs lab tech and mines need a chemist to run water quality. You could do those jobs right?<br />3) Then what will you do with your x million dollar house that Suzie needed to get into a modest school district?<br />4) Well you must have a lot of savings, right? You went to school so long they must have paid you the big bucks?<br />5) Why do drugs cost so much?<br />6) Why are pharma companies so greedy?<br />7) Well my little blue pills cost x/month. Why would they need to lay you off?<br />8) Why do evil companies release drugs which are unsafe? I saw a commericial that a whole lot of people got [side effect] and [big law firm] is going to let those greedy pharma bastards have it!<br />9) What else can you do with your degree?<br />10) Can you get your sibling/cousin/etc a job?<br />11) What are you going to wear to interviews? Your clothes look so outdated!<br />12) How many interviews have you gotten? <br />13)... Well how many resumes have you sent out?<br />14) What's wrong with your resume? Send it to [big business tycoon high school nemesis]. They know how to find a good job.<br />15) Why would MEGAPHARMALAND divest what you are working in? That is a huge business!<br />16) I am sure you will be fine. Things have always came so easy for you. You always were such a good test taker. Why don't you help your [sibling with GPA<3.0] get a job in [field that pays more than yours]? [Sibling] is somewhat unhappy that they only have x direct reports at their current job you helped them get.<br />17) Why do you have deep frown lines? <br />18) When are you going to get married?<br />19) When are you going to give me grandchildren?<br />20) You have moved around so much for your jobs! When are you going to settle down and start your real life?<br />21) Why do you keep checking your work computer? Don't you love your family?<br />22) Why don't you move to [completely unrelated division of company]. They have a lot of sales and profit.<br />23) Why did the stock go down?<br />24) Well why does MEGAPHARMALAND break layoff news every Christmas/Thanksgiving/January?<br /><br />If you want your industrial chemist to have a Merry Christmas you should avoid these questions.<br /><br />Cheers.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-41531057077465894512014-12-19T13:50:00.047-05:002014-12-19T13:50:00.047-05:0013. I saw on the news/ read on the internet about ...13. I saw on the news/ read on the internet about someone making lots of money with 3D-printed graphene nano hype. Why don't you go into that?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-51872389520924510662014-12-19T11:06:27.872-05:002014-12-19T11:06:27.872-05:00Forget it, I keep trying to fix the dang typo and ...Forget it, I keep trying to fix the dang typo and I just make it worse. Swap the "to" and "too" in your minds... Autocorrect is smoking crack this morningOrganometallicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10260992796551678220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-32479540563720292752014-12-19T11:05:21.261-05:002014-12-19T11:05:21.261-05:00It's kind of depressing how just a few years a...It's kind of depressing how just a few years ago I thought this was funny; now it hits to close too home... :-X<br />Organometallicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10260992796551678220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-87002025577072118832014-12-19T11:03:27.790-05:002014-12-19T11:03:27.790-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Organometallicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10260992796551678220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964719845369935777.post-11840183677366576382014-12-19T10:09:17.582-05:002014-12-19T10:09:17.582-05:00A Christmas classic. Shall print out and send to m...A Christmas classic. Shall print out and send to my family, albeit retroactively.<br />Maybe next year you can compose one for those starting their first jobs out of grad school, in which one of the questions asked could be: "How big was your signing bonus, again?" [crickets]See Arr Ohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464185815368499346noreply@blogger.com