From the comments at In the Pipeline in reaction to the management moves at Merck, someone who is much, much better at The Onion-style satire than I am:
MERCK TO CUT WORKFORCE 120 PERCENT
NEW YORK, N.Y. (AP.com) - Merck will reduce its workforce by an unprecedented 120 percent by the end of 2013, believed to be the first time a major corporation has laid off more employees than it actually has. Merck stock soared more than 12 points on the news.
The reduction decision, announced Wednesday, came after a year-long internal review of cost-cutting procedures. The initial report concluded the company would save $1.2 billion by eliminating 20 percent of its 85,000 employees.
From there, said a spokesperson, "it didn't take a genius to figure out that if we cut 40 percent of our workforce, we'd save $2.4 billion, and if we cut 100 percent of our workforce, we'd save $6 billion. But then we thought, why stop there? Let's cut another 20 percent and save $7 billion.Believe it or not, it gets better. Go have a read. Have a great weekend (and yes, more comments on Sturgeon coming.)
http://www.cafepharma.com/boards/showthread.php?t=267522
ReplyDeleteThe names have changed, but the game remains the same!
DeleteIt's not far from the truth probably, - I am sure that the total number of people who lost their jobs through Merck-related M&A's compares well with their headcounts. I have no doubt that Pfizer destroyed more jobs than it currently provides.
ReplyDeleteAs a person who has never worked for Merck I wouldn't mind to get a lay off from them as long as they provide good severance package :)
ReplyDeleteDream on! I hear that from the year 2008 on wards to date, the package is slowly getting smaller. But I agree with Anonymous to stay put and wait your turn to get that package.
DeleteThe first anonymous had it correct. This story has been around since 2008 (and most likely before that). Real original to just swap Merck for Pfizer.
ReplyDelete