Friday, August 23, 2013

17 things management doesn't want to hear during a tour of your facility

"Let's show you the laboratory. And we're growing by leaps and bounds -- orders are up, we've got lots of inquiri-"
  1. "What's that smell?" 
  2. "Pull the pin, pull the friggin' pin on the extinguisher!"
  3. "That data is bulls--t and you know it!" 
  4. "YOUR MOM!"
  5. "Do they know that we make a 1000% margin on this compound?" 
  6. "This POS HPLC couldn't find a peak with two hands and a flashlight!"
  7. "Quick, hide!"
  8. "This company sucks." 
  9. "There's not a chance in hell we'll get this contract." 
  10. "Look at all this dirty glassware." 
  11. "Here come the suits." 
  12. 他妈的!
  13. "I can't wait for 5 o'clock -- I'm gonna get a beer..." 
  14. "Hey, get a paper towel -- I think my hood shut down." 
  15. "Did you get your Ph.D. from a Cracker Jack box?" 
  16. "Do you think we know that we shipped them a sample from Aldrich?" 
  17. "Uh-oh." 
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6 comments:

  1. NMHAugust 23, 2013 at 12:52 PM

    "Let me remind you that we don't not have FDA approval for this, so maybe add a lit more fungizone to that..."

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChemjobberAugust 23, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    "GMP is such bull."

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 23, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    Him? He's not a chemist, he's a… janitor… yeah. Who gave him a labcoat?

    ReplyDelete
  4. milkshakeAugust 23, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    "Hey, this cold trap is full of pale blue liquid" (I actually did that one, right during a management tour of our labs, with potential investors in tow)

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 25, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    "Who is John Galt?"

    ReplyDelete
  6. CanChemAugust 26, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    "Who let the dogs out?" (Either musically, or literally)

    "We're 4% short of the promised amount; just toss in some NaCl."

    "Betcha won't lick it."

    ReplyDelete

looks like Blogger doesn't work with anonymous comments from Chrome browsers at the moment - works in Microsoft Edge, or from Chrome with a Blogger account - sorry! CJ 3/21/20