Daily Pump Trap: 11/12/15 edition

A few of this week's postings on C&EN Jobs: 

Chicago, IL: AbbVie looking for a senior analytical chemist to work on antibody-drug conjugates. 

Dayton, NJ: Fascinating little position from Accutest in New Jersey; they're looking for someone who has experience in GC to be an instructor for their company: 

We are currently seeking an experienced college or university level Instructor to join our team to teach analysts and trainees (often, recent graduates) GC and GC/MS techniques for quantitative analysis.  You will work closely with individual employees to ensure that analysts learn and can demonstrate proper laboratory procedures in GC and GC/MS, complying with our Standard Operating Procedures (SOP).  We work in a highly regulated environment, and only those analysts who can demonstrate both ability and willingness to follow SOPs can be successful here.  

Don't these people know that's the wrong way to go about things? You're supposed to whine in the news media that your people are untrained by your local schools, and then you're supposed to ask the taxpayer to pick up the bill. (They don't even ask for a Ph.D.!?!??) /sarcasm 

Don't do it: I sense this is a small company in Princeton, NJ is looking for cheap labor, not a synthetic postdoc. 

Aiken, SC: Savannah River National Laboratory looking for a postdoc for work on nanotechnology, with respect to "the Tritium & Hydrogen Processing Programs." 

A broader look: Monster, Careerbuilder, Indeed and USAjobs.gov show (respectively) "1000+", 618, 10,328 and zero positions. LinkedIn shows 1,615 positions for the job title "chemist", with 120 for "analytical chemist", 39 for "research chemist", 15 for "organic chemist", 4 for "synthetic chemist" and 1 for "medicinal chemist."