Thanks to Twitter, a small list:
- "So, when are you going up for tenure?"
- "Nice Civic." (by Ash)
- "So how is teaching?" (by Shane Caldwell)
- "It must be nice getting the entire summer off. What do you do with all that free time?" (by Andre)
- "When's your next grant application due?"
- "That whole publish-or-perish thing is just a myth, yeah?"
- "You only teach one class each semester? What do you do with rest of your time?" (by Andre)
- "Student evaluations don't mean much, do they?"
- "But the school pays for your kid to go to college, right?"
- "How's that tenure package coming?"
- "So what happens if you don't get tenure?" (by gingerest)
- "So...my tax dollars pay your salary? Makes me your boss I guess hahahahahaha" (by John)
- "Wait, you get paid how much?" (by John)
- "So what do you do during summer break?"
- "So what happens when you don't get tenure?" (by Andre)
"What do you like most about teaching pre-meds?"
ReplyDelete"Nice civic" is sooooooo true.
ReplyDeleteI love #4 and #7. They expose one of academia's little secrets - that professors aren't really hired to teach, and many of them dislike it and consider it a distraction from research!
ReplyDeleteI like #11 and #15. Whenever I've described the tenure treadmill to people outside of academia (i.e. the vast majority of humanity), I expect them to sympathize with my plight as an assistant professor. Instead, I usually hear some variation of the following: "Wow, you have guaranteed job security for 6 years? You really do live a charmed life in an ivory tower". Having spent a number of years in industry where the axe can fall any day, I have to agree that the tenure probationary gig isn't as bad as we sometimes make it out to be. Where else do you get a one year terminal contract to put your affairs in order?
ReplyDeleteDidn't get tenure? Teach high school chemistry and team up with a healthy Walter White to produce Pervitin II and/or specialize in making A students of people like Haley Dunphy. The first lesson is the meaning of quid pro quo.
ReplyDeleteEither will get you a spot in a Federal or state institution for a minimum of 20 years and a segment on Dateline explaining your achievements.
Chemjobber, I can usually tell when your posts are satirical or sarcastic but I'm not sure about this one. I don't mind most of these questions...maybe the difference between being an assistant prof. at a PUI/SLAC rather than an R1? I try to constantly remind myself (and colleagues) that, while we may be working 60+ hour weeks and getting paid 1/3-1/2 what industrial chemists get, the flexibility offered in academia and the job security provided by a six-year probationary period is pretty spectacular.
ReplyDeleteI think this was written/co-written/co-commented on profs in the PUI space. (i.e. Andre.)
DeleteSpeaking for myself, I would be annoyed at many of these questions because I hate updating people on situations where the outcomes are hazy and there is really no news to be had. There is nothing quite like tenure in industry - we have no real security of employment, and I suspect that our tradeoffs are made from that calculation.
In the end, though, I think you're right - professors, in the right situation, have a pretty sweet gig.
"Nice Civic. Is that one of the '91s?"
ReplyDelete