Ask CJ: I've got a bad two-body problem

From the inbox, a sad dilemma (redacted and edited for clarity/privacy):

Dear Chemjobber, 

I recently ran into this dilemma and I need both you and your readers' opinion on it. 

I'm a PhD organic chemist currently working outside of chemistry making a decent-but-not-PhD-chemist wages. I've been yearning to get back in chemistry for a while now and has been seriously applying for chemistry-related jobs for over 6 months now. Suffice it to say that I did not get much attention from anyone.  

Anyhow, I recently moved my job hunt overseas, and because of my language skills, I was quickly offered a position.  

Here is my problem: my wife has zero intention of moving overseas. Granted, the salary they offered me is about half of what I'm making now, but I can offset that by living in a cheaper country and in my parents' house. 

I desperately want to get back into chemistry, but it seems my wife is more concerned about living overseas. Now, the question is, should I take the job? 

Thanks,
X

That's a tough one, X. Personally, I would factor my wife's desires into my desires for a career in a specific field. Is a life working as a chemist really worth 1) moving, 2) getting a lower salary and 3) risking my marriage? For the most part, I'd say 'no' and I suspect that most people would as well. Of all of these factors, it is the objections of my spouse that I would take most into consideration. You can have many careers, but spouses are relatively few.

That said, there are plenty of folks who have made big, big sacrifices to keep working in chemistry. To each their own.

It's sad that, at the moment, organic chemistry isn't allowing people the ability to 1) find jobs where they live and 2) employ everyone who wishes to be employed in the field. Best wishes to you, X, and to all of us.

Readers, your thoughts? 

Family separation -- the new normal?

A depressing topic for a Monday morning, for which I apologize. I'm noticing a new trend in our post (?)-recession economy, which is the family breadwinner (typically the father) going away from their family and working, while the other spouse (typically the mother) stays behind with the kids. Obviously, the difficulties of selling their current home is part of this problem.

I'm hearing people plan for this, I'm seeing it in the workforce and I'm seeing it in my Facebook news feed. While I don't doubt that most (if not all) of the affected families are planning for reunion of some sort, there will undoubtedly be a small (but non-zero) number of families which will be hurt by this. This is a new twist to the two-body problem, which seems to hit young marrieds more than families with kids.

I suspect that the trend is quite strong in chemistry. While the past expansion in pharma/biotech had spread beyond the traditional hubs (SD, SF, BOS, NJ, NC), one imagines that the post-2003 era of mergers and layoffs has hit the smaller places (the Seattles of the world) harder. I don't doubt there are many people getting hired on in one of the hubs (where the remaining jobs are), renting a small apartment in the big city and keeping their families elsewhere, where the cost of living is lower and the quality of life may be higher.

Let's hope this trend(let?) reverses itself, as/when/if things get better.