Friday, May 30, 2014

Professor Fails To Behead Student for Middling Yield on Protecting Group Reaction

THE CONFERENCE ROOM DOWN THE HALL -- Expressing shock, 22-year-old Kevin Jones was surprised to learn that upon what he thought was a poor performance at their second research group meeting, he failed to be beheaded by his adviser. "I mean, I reported that I got a 85% yield on that silyl group protection, which is terrible -- I totally expected that she would have my head." While Professor Brandstrom is known for her incisive questions and has a reputation for brooking no nonsense, she seemed to not notice her new graduate student's nervousness or his self-perception at being an absolute failure as a graduate student and an organic chemist.  Also, she failed to pull out a sword and behead him on the spot, which was the third-hand story told of a recent postdoctoral fellow. "The 4th years told me she keeps the sword in the coat closet in her office -- maybe she doesn't wear it all the time", he mused to himself. 


  1. I meant to, but my katana (not a broad sword as some speculate) was out being sharpened.

    Prof. Brandstrom

  2. She called and asked to borrow my woodchipper. Kevin is in for a surprise when he leaves lab.

  3. Unstable IsotopeMay 30, 2014 at 3:49 PM

    Don't be silly, that punishment is reserved for having solvent peaks in the NMR spectrum.

  4. Perhaps this can be explained by Kevin's resemblance to the actor James Franco and Dr. Brandstrom's nickname (never said to her face) Mrs. Robinson.