Hey, summer students! Now that you're finished annoying your grad student mentor, it's time to start thinking about that end-of-summer poster session/talk/report that you need to come up with. Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Delay: Take a page from Congress -- why not wait until the last minute?
- What was my project again?: Don't bother understanding what you were working on -- who cares, it's just some random chemistry stuff.
- Don't read anything relevant: You've definitely got time for that 1045th Angry Birds game, but there's no point in reading the review that your lab's work is based on. And those figures/graphs in there? Why not just redo them on your own time?
- Bench time is wasted time: Those remaining experiments and controls that would explain everything? They can be put off.
- Spontaneous report writing is the best: After you've thrown your report together, don't bother to read it over or to ask someone else to read it over -- I'm sure it's juuust fine.
- Ad libbing is awesome: In the same vein, don't bother to practice that 10 minute talk you need to give. It's ten minutes -- what could possibly go wrong?
If you follow all these helpful tips, nothing could possibly go wrong -- really.