Monday, March 26, 2012

Burying the lede?

Last week's article by Rudy Baum entitled "Unemployment Data Worst In 40 Years" has been renamed for the print edition as "Chemists for Hire".

As a service, I present 5 headlines that would have been better than "Chemists for Hire":
  • "Holy $#$#$#, We're *&*&*ed"
  • "Why Did I Get This Degree?"
  • "Practice Saying 'Was that a Half-Caff or a Triple-Shot Mocha?'"
  • "Hey! Look Over There!"
  • "Unemployment Data Worst In 40 Years"


  1. A few other possibilities:

    1. "Hey Mom, could you get us some cookies"?
    2. Cue Will Hunting: "You ever tried the North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State over at Joe's? Trust me, it's worth the daily five mile hike".
    3. 萬歲混凝土

    *Drops sarcasm sign, goes back to sulking on the couch*

  2. 4. "Wait, you didn't want a job WITH benefits.....or retirement, right?"
    5. "B-school: You scoffed, but what about now?"
    6. "New Teaching Certifications at Ten-year High!"
    7. "Post-docs: Your Solution to Continued Job Security"

  3. 8. Hey, at least you drop $100K on law school...
    9. And you thought being smart would matter.
    10. Top 10 ways to compete with actors for jobs at Starbucks

  4. It's official. Pharma is so screwed that even the sales guys who don't do science are saying management is inept.

  5. 11. I got mine, so what's the problem?
    12. Not enough students are becoming chemists, so we need to start training even more to address the massive shortages in chemists in 2020
    13. We have imported chemistry talent for years, now is a great time for US chemists to leave the US for Asia
    14. Great news! Mexican drug lords have openings for chemists
    15. The ACS does more for unemployed chemists than either John Wiley or Elsevier does

  6. I think you missed the point of the piece. What it does is it gives them an opportunity to claim that it is normal that unemployment for chemists rises, while the overall unemployment drops.

    1. I'm prepared to believe that high-value manufacturing R&D employment (which chemistry is a part of) is a lagging, as opposed to a leading indicator.

  7. Now tell me which of many massive shuttered pharma R&D campuses are going to re-open when the good times just around the corner return? I can tell you that the small shuttered biotech labs out here in CA are being gutted and turned into non-lab space.