This job is probably awesomer than yours: From NASA (Greenbelt, MD):
The Astrochemistry Laboratory, in Greenbelt, Maryland, is seeking a research scientist to provide expertise in studies of trace materials in complex organic compounds of astrobiological and cosmochemical interest. You will serve as a Research Physical Scientist in the Astrobiology Analytical Lab, a state-of-the-art analytical laboratory that specializes in the characterization of organic and biochemical materials that could precede the development of life or that could be derived from fossil life either on Earth or throughout the solar system.
Studies include analyses of natural samples of amino acids and other organic materials extracted from meteorites, interplanetary dust particles, material returned via NASA missions, and analog samples utilizing chromatography and mass spectrometry. Work also includes development of advanced in situ methods and organic detection instrumentation for future planetary missions. Research requires the analysis of small and precious samples and careful techniques to understand and limit organic contamination.
Requirements: A record of successful planetary proposals and peer-reviewed publications is required. Bachelors degree required, PhD in a relevant field is preferred. Candidates must have experience in characterizing organic and biochemical materials to investigate questions of astrochemical and astrobiological interest related to the Origin of Life using chromatography and mass spectrometry, method development for the analysis of small organic compounds, and handling of precious, often irreplaceable samples. U.S. citizenship required.The kicker: $89,033.00 - 136,771.00 offered. (Best wishes to the 4 or 5 people who are qualified for this position...)
Midland, MI: Dow Corning is looking for a M.S./Ph.D. chemist to be a product development chemist; experience in silicone synthesis and coatings desired.
Waltham, MA: Alkermes is looking for an analytical postdoc for solid-state pharmaceutical chemistry.
Akron, OH: Bridgestone America is looking for materials scientists towards tires:
Researchers at this location are primarily dedicated to the development of new materials for tires and other applications and are working cooperatively with scientists and engineers at our three major Technical Centers in Akron, Tokyo, and Rome. For the Materials Scientist position, qualified candidates are preferred to have a Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering, Polymer Science, Physics, Materials Science and Engineering, or a related field with desired experience in the polymer/soft matter area. Solid academic training, creativity, and problem-solving abilities are essential for the position.Could be interesting.
Shimadzu: They're on a relative hiring spree, with 7 new positions across the country.
Iowa City, IA: It's abundantly clear that P&G wants a Q.C. experienced A.A./B.S. chemist to do more quality control work in a plant. Why not just write that instead of 100 words of nonsense?
Oh, Kelly: When you start a sales job ad with "no cold calling!", it's gonna be a good one.