|If only people knew how fun it was to drive one of these.|
1. Clowns are vital to our national security.
2. There are 14,000,000 unfilled positions for clowns -- these are very mobile, high paying jobs!
3. Who will win the War for Clown Talent?
4. American youth is just not as zany as the youth of past generations of clowns -- it's all those iPads and iPhones.
5. By having insufficient clowns, we are depriving future generations of laughter and joy.
6. Do you know what the median starting salary for clowns is? I have a study that says that it's over $125,000. That, my friends, is a shortage.
7. America is being out-funnied by our international competitors.
8. Our education system just doesn't value clowning in K-12 -- it really needs to do better.
9. Congress needs to subsidize the production of clowns by founding the National Clown Centers of Excellence.
10. We need to make clowning more fun and more hands-on.
11. We should never, ever, ever raise wages for clowns.
Have a great weekend!