Friday, April 13, 2012

14 things that your committee talks about when they're "conferring privately" after your thesis defense

1. How funny it would be to tell you that you had to revise 3 chapters and do 7 more experiments
2. What you chose to wear
3. Where your secret tattoo will be: inside your wrist, or on the nape of the neck?
4. What they're having for dinner
5. Wondering what you did the first 2 years of your grad school career
6. The look on your face if they addressed you as "Mister" or "Miss" when they left the room
7. Who would play them in the movie of their life: Sean Connery/Meryl Streep or Johnny Depp/Natalie Portman?
8. How the school's football team is going to do next fall
9. Whether or not you handled the snake fight portion well
10. The font choice of your Powerpoint
11. How the leather interior of this year's BMW 335i looks
12. Whether to bring you in for a wizarding duel
13. What the funding line for R01s will be next year
14. The research you did

14 comments:

  1. #14 is far too high up on this list.

    Also, comma after "wrist." (This bounty game is great!)

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    Replies
    1. Well, now if you want to go in that direction, the single period at the end of #12 is killing me (that is the ONLY one with an ending period).

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  2. One of my committee members slept through most of my defense. I imagine he continued to afterward...

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  3. One of my committee members didn't even show up to my defense.

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  4. Whether you're going to buy pitchers of good beer at the bar or go for the cheap stuff.

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  5. Committee members bargaining with your advisor - "Okay, we'll pass this student of yours if you promise to pass this student of mine..."

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    Replies
    1. Not getting older, getting betterApril 16, 2012 at 1:35 AM

      Conversely, arguing that "you flunked my student 2 years ago so I'm flunking yours now!"

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  6. There's often sports discussion when I'm on a committee!

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  7. Love the snake fight portion.

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  8. I have to say my defense was fairly anti-climactic. I walked out thinking "that's it?!?" Boy, it is a huge weight off to get it over with.

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    Replies
    1. There's definitely a "not with a bang but a whimper" aspect.

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    2. I was always told that if they let you defend, they already know you're going to get it. Maybe it's not the same everywhere, though...

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  9. 15. Unflattering yet amusing photos of you on Facebook or Pubcrawler.

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  10. 335i? M3 is where it's at...

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