Friday, February 7, 2014

Some Terms Engender Madness: A contest

As you all know, I hate what the term "STEM" has become. Let me resummarize my position:
  • Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics are distinct fields with their own definitions, traditions and employment needs. 
  • Because politicians, businesspeople and education professionals simplify when they communicate,
    "STEM jobs" is the panacea for the world's economic ills.  
(You can really see this now with the term "STEAM", where Arts is trying to get itself some sweet corporate/non-profit cash by hopping on the bandwagon.)

Because I really dislike this obfuscation, I've decided to do what I can to destroy the term "STEM" through the use of humor. I am offering a certificate, a handwritten thank you note, a box of the finest Chemjobber business cards and a bag of hard candies to anyone who comes up with (by acclamation) the best alternate ironic, sarcastic abbreviation* for STEM. A few that I've come up with on my own: 

Stupid Terminology Excludes Medicine
Silly Thoughts Engineer Mendacity
Something That Excites Media
Stuff That Engineers Manufacture
Scientist Trends Exclude Money

Nominations/entries all week, I'll pick the 5 top ones next Friday morning and we'll vote then. Enter by e-mail, Twitter, comments on the blog, I'll take it all. 

37 comments:

  1. Someone Told 'Em Misinformation
    Salubrious Toadstools Engender Mirth
    Somewhere There's Employment? Maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Salaries Terrible, Employment Mediocre

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like this one the best.

      Delete
  3. Slaves to Employment Misrepresentation

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My vote. That's how I feel about my career. One big Trap, working for as**oles.

      Delete
  4. From the Twitterz:
    SAO - "Science Takes Educational Misadventure"
    Bran van Chemist - "Simple Talk Employing Misuse"
    Lori - "Such Tech Engineers Mostly" #doge

    ReplyDelete
  5. Suckers (or Scientists) Trusting Employment Mirages

    ReplyDelete
  6. Skeptical The Employment Materializes

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stocks, Temps, Extortion, Management

    ReplyDelete
  8. Should've taken economics, man!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sociologists Tormenting Educated Minions

    ReplyDelete
  10. From Lisa Balbes:

    Some Times Employees Matter
    Special Taglines Enhance Money

    Scientific Thinking Engages Minds
    Special Thoughts Excite Management
    Slogans Terminate Exceptional Mindsets

    ReplyDelete
  11. Simplistic Thinkers Expecting Miracles

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lots of play in "simple/simplistic." Here's another:
    Simple-Thinking Economic Moguls

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stop Talking Employment, Moron!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Society of the Theoretically Employable Mules

    ReplyDelete
  15. Some Terms Evade Meaning

    ReplyDelete
  16. Solely Technology Employment Meaninful

    ReplyDelete
  17. Actually I think its just your Standard Toxic Economic Meme. So when someone says there is a shortage of STEM, they are really just trying to create more ways to harm the economy. It seems to fit well....

    ReplyDelete
  18. Specious Thinking Exceptionally Magical

    ReplyDelete
  19. Scratch This Execrable Misinformation
    Sloppy Terminology Expectations Muddle

    ReplyDelete
  20. Suckers That Expected Money
    Should've Taken Engineering, Man....
    Screwed Through Educational Malfeasance

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sorry The Employment's Missing

    ReplyDelete
  22. Scientific Training Entails Masochism

    ReplyDelete
  23. Some Temporary Employment, Maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Got another one:

    Slaves To Egotistical MBAs

    ReplyDelete
  25. Struggle To Evade McJob

    ReplyDelete
  26. Seriously? They Expect Money?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sure To End Miserably

    ReplyDelete
  28. From Pig Farmer, via e-mail:

    Short Term Employment, Mostly
    Stop Training Economic Migrants
    Such Terrible Economic Mis-management
    Sack Those Employees, Mate
    Shortage, The Eternal Mantra
    Shafting Their Employees Mightily

    ReplyDelete
  29. More from Twitter:

    @KayakPhilip: Souls Taken, Even Mine
    Secretly Tormenting English Majors
    Situation Terrible Every Month
    Still Touting Encyclopedic Memory
    Salty Taste Exemplify Margaritas
    Silent Treatment Eviscerates Marriages
    Striving To Eliminate Mediocrity

    @ChemDraw: Several Technophiles Enjoying Macs
    @ChemDraw: Steroid Templates Eliminate Mistakes (in #ChemDraw)

    @SamMikes: Spelling T'other way Evokes Metastases
    @DNAutics: Stop Teasing Eager Minors

    @jfreebo: Suspect Terminology Employer Machinations
    So Totally Effing Made-up

    @Free_Radical1: Surplus Trained: Employer’s Market!

    @AgnesJTrow: Scienceshit Takes Endless Money
    Science Tu Et Megacorp?
    Solely Technology Excluding Majority

    ReplyDelete
  30. Will I. RetireachemistFebruary 11, 2014 at 4:35 PM

    Statistics Twisted, Employers Mirthful
    or perhaps
    Statistics Twisted, Employees Mourn
    Students (Suckers) Taught Empty Message
    Students Training for Eventually, McDonalds

    ReplyDelete