Tuesday, December 20, 2011

North Korea's "The Great Successor" also "The Great Synthesizer"

The Great Synthesizer, giving his grant program officer a
tour of his laboratory. (Credit: Kim Jong Un tumblr)
(KCNA) Pyongyang, DPRK: The Central Committee and the Central Military Commission of the Workers’ Party of Korea, the National Defence Commission of the DPRK, the Presidium of the Supreme People’s Assembly and the Cabinet of the DPRK are pleased to note to the world that Kim Jong Un, the Great Successor, has also achieved great feats in the highest field of scientific achievement, the total synthesis of marine natural products.

In his very first synthetic campaign in 2010, Kim finished a synthesis of the complex marine natural product maitotoxin in 14 steps, according to state chemistry journals. Kim's impressive synthetic feat was marked with the catalytic, enantioselective synthesis of 30 of maitotoxin's 32 fused rings in a single step. During this remarkable achievement, Kim averaged no less than 98% yield and 99% enantioselectivity for each synthetic step. Pyongyang University of Science and Technology chemistry professors (along with their North Korean People's Army escorts) confirmed Kim's synthesis of maitotoxin via X-ray crystallography. Earlier this year, the Chemical Society of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea congratulated "The Great Synthesizer" on his stunning achievement that has eluded scientists in all other advanced nations. CSDPRK's press release noted that Kim's synthesis of 45 grams of maitotoxin was also protecting group- and solvent-free.

Now that Kim Jong Un has climbed this near-invincible summit, he wishes to leave the bench and achieve greater heights as a leader and administrator.

NB: Satire. Parody based on this Washington Post blog post and this KCNA news release. 

9 comments:

  1. The real Great Synthesizer would do that reaction in 7 steps.

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  2. Most popular tumblr ever!

    http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

    The great successor to the most popular tumblr ever!

    http://kimjongunlookingatthings.tumblr.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol. A comparison seems inevitable...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Some of Dear Leader's other titles:

    http://harpers.org/archive/2005/02/0080381

    LOL at this one: "Eternal Bosom of Hot Love"

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  5. Well, he was also pretty good at synthesizing new kinds of gases and liquids to make cabbage more edible:

    hxxp://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/feb/01/northkorea

    (replace xx by tt)

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  6. These guys are dangerous lunatics. The whole regime. Dying a painful death would be too good for them. I realized that again after watching this video of North Koreans grieving his death:

    hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSWN6Qj98Iw&feature=player_embedded

    Of course, there is still hope, as this next video of Albania before and five years after the death of their 'Great Leader' shows. The before part is very similar to NK actually.

    hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnHuaSwKO1Q&feature=player_embedded

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  7. CJ: I am also informed that the synthesis by the "the great synthesizer" was "filmed" to the minutest detail to be shown forcibly later to the citizen of N. Korea.

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  8. 98% yield? 99% e.e.? Sounds like any other JACS article to me.

    ReplyDelete