Sunday, April 1, 2012

Hi, my name is Jeff

Hey, guys -- it's me. 
In the beginning, there was just being a lawyer. And that was enough. Sure, free burgers were fun. That Mexican joint was a blast, too. Do you know the idiots in marketing wanted them to have cookies at the cash register? What a terrible idea -- that's not authentic Mexican! So I had to start looking for another position. 

So then it was back to being a lawyer -- which was cool and all. But the business got to be a bit of a drag and I just wanted to help people do science and heal people. I helped buy a company. And then I helped buy another and another. Then, the layoffs started. 

I felt really bad for all the scientists that we let go -- we thought they'd get picked up by someone. And for a while, they were. And then, they weren't. Somewhere in the middle of that, I became the boss.

Do you know how hard it is to be the boss? Of course you don't. Money was still tight, so we had to keep letting people go. I felt so bad. Who was I going to talk to about this? 

So I started a blog. And I wrote some posts. And then I wrote a few more and a few more. I got fired, and that stank. But the blog kept going, which was nice. 

So I'm looking for a job, just like all of you chemists and other pharma scientists.

My name is Jeff, and I am Chemjobber. 


  1. Jeff, thanks for being so honest. I just have to know, out of sheer curiosity, was this piece accurate, at least in spots?

    See Arr Oh

  2. Well played, sir.

  3. I'd like to know your policy on using the company helicopter as my daily commuter.

  4. The White KnightApril 2, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    Hey, Jeff! Miles here!

    Don't sweat having to cut those scientists loose, man. I really think they appreciate having to 'reinvent' themselves, especially after 20 years in the business. Think of it as us stocking the 'alternate career' shelf with fresh product. We're doing society a favor, dude!

    Hell, I got so tired of listening to them whine about 'not having enough resources to do their jobs', I just decided to spin all of them off! Named the company something totally idiotic to boot! Suck it, science dorks!

    See you at the club later for a drink?



looks like Blogger doesn't work with anonymous comments from Chrome browsers at the moment - works in Microsoft Edge, or from Chrome with a Blogger account - sorry! CJ 3/21/20