Wednesday, June 28, 2017

14 thoughts during a teleconference

Thought with one's mental mute button on: 
I've been abducted by a UFO-shaped object
in a conference room. Credit: Wired
  1. I love our customer, I'm so happy to talk to them.  
  3. Who organized this call? Why I am here? 
  4. I hate the voice of the WebEx lady.
  5. Don't click the wrong button, don't click the wrong button...
  6. This Muzak is terrible. 
  7. Can people hear rolled eyes for a thousand miles away? 
  8. Don't hit the "share screen" button while you are browsing ESPN...
  9. I am going to kill whoever put me on this project.
  10. What I am doing with my life? Is this call worth it? 
  11. I HATE our customer.
  12. Oh, crap, I think I was supposed to be saying something here.
  13. There's that guy again - I can't wait for him to stop talking. 
  14. He's gonna ask for another teleconference, isn't he? 


  1. relevant:

  2. the best customers are virtual biotech companies. They slash their overhead by doing frequent teleconferences in lieu of of managing their R&D, they solve their manufacturing problems by making them someone else's problems, and then proceed to blame the inept CRO for delays caused by their crap procedures that did not scale because they were too cheap to spend resources on process development optimization, lack expertise and made unrealistic projections

    1. I'm a biologist, not a chemist, but I suspect some of those guys are the same organizations I've come to know and love at this CRO....

    2. Can confirm; was on the CRO side of things of such a project. 17 LL steps, from mg directly to kg scale. Fortunately we ended up with better yields and ee's than the small-scale reactions demonstrated.

  3. At my last company I tried to get the IT guy to replace the muzak with something by The Ramones. Apparently there were copyright issues. I'm still hopefully I can pull it off at my next company.

  4. No matter how unpleasant, you don't want a teleconference to end like this one from the film "Fail-safe".

  5. Don't hit the "share screen" button while you are browsing ESPN...

    That's what the tablet/smartphone is for right?

    Uh I mean those are for note taking.

    In a meeting with plant biologists

    "I know less than Jon Snow."