Weekend visits for prospective graduate students are coming up! Time for some tips on what not to say:
1. To assistant profs: "So, how many grant proposals have you written this year? Do you think that's enough?"
2. At a get-to-know-you dinners: "I understand that chemical engineers have much better salaries!"
3. To a full prof: "This meeting is sorta boring -- can we pick it up a bit?"
4. To the department administrator: "Can I get a limo pickup from the airport?"
5. To certain profs: "I saw on ChemBark that you're moving to Berkeley -- is that true?"
6. To a 3rd year grad student: "You're bright -- why aren't you in medical school?"
7. At the reception, loudly: "These cookies are kinda stale."
8. To the department administrator: "Here's my receipt for my midnight trip to the bar."
9. To a 5th year graduate student, "When are you going to graduate?"
10. To anyone: "Do you want to go back to my hotel room?"
11. To anyone: "Why isn't this place as highly ranked as MIT?"
12. To PIs that you meet: "What is the unemployment rate of your last ten Ph.D. grads?"*
13. To the department chair: "I saw on ChemBark that some of your best people are leaving -- is that true?"
14. To postdocs: "Are you going to do another postdoc?"
*You should find another way to ask this important question.