Not that I've done any of these...:
- Obtain seat closest to bar and food.
- Obtain table far enough away from bosses' table
- Make sure you have good tablemates, i.e. ones that will not report your behavior.
- Check contents of hip flask.
- Bogart all needed butter, condiments.
- Obtain location of afterparty.
- Be sure to obtain enough food/drink to last you through after-dinner speechmaking.
- Discreetly pull out, distribute boss speech bingo cards.
- Snort loudly, just once.
- Attempt to keep eye rolling to a minimum; allow spouse to kick you under table, if necessary.
- Count blessings that company has lasted another year to have another party.
- Recheck/refill contents of hip flask.
Have a good weekend!
Work party?
ReplyDeleteHappy now? :)
DeleteOffice/work parties should come with a warning label:
ReplyDeleteBe aware that libations might lead to verbalizing your internal monologue.
Your gauge for how funny your quips are will be compromised. Snark with care.