Friday, July 12, 2013

Could be re-titled "Hundreds of chemists apply to Merck senior scientist position."

It's hard to beat "The Onion" when it comes to satire. Click on this link if you want the video version (that autoplays, ugh):
SAN FRANCISCO—Upon coming across the same job posting Monday for a full-time position at a local startup company, an estimated 1,400 people reportedly described the opening as “a perfect fit” for their qualifications, saying it was exactly the opportunity they’ve been waiting for. “I have all the skills they want, my experience matches up—I honestly don’t know if there’s anyone out there better suited for this job than me,” said unemployed man Charles Duncan, echoing the sentiments of 1,400 others, 900 of whom believe their facility with social media and knowledge of web design will definitely make their application “stand out from the rest of the pack.” “This position just makes so much sense for me. My résumé and cover letter might not get me the job outright, but once I go in for the interview they’ll see why I’m ideal for it.” Sources later confirmed a family friend of a top executive at the company had already accepted the position, which had been unofficially promised to him long before the job was even posted.
The part about the family friend is particularly galling. (Thanks to John Spevacek for the link.) 

6 comments:

  1. I have no actual data but based on what have seen and heard I think a substantial percentage of Advertised Openings involve positions where a candidate has been identified and even selected, maybe not as friend of top exec, but just doing it for legalities smoke screen.

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  2. How come there's no quote from the company citing shortage and difficulties trying to find a qualified candidate?

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  3. What makes me laugh is even in the condition you can't find a job that fits your qualifications and you have to apply for something relatively low paying to support yourself, you still have to say that you are a perfect fit for the position. "Yes, my entire's life's education and career has been for application for a position to teach science in your reform high school!!!"

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  4. FYI, the last word in your post is "galling." The first word in your post labels is "Fun."
    Now to reconcile those two....

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  5. What this note highlights is the axiom "It's not WHAT you know, but WHO you know." For more information, see Richard Bolles' "What Color is Your Parachute."

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  6. When did the Onion move from satirical into REAL news?

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