Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Daily Pump Trap: 8/13/13 edition

Good morning! Between August 8 and August 12, there were 92 new positions. Of these, 17 (18%) are academically connected and 63 (68%) are from Kelly Scientific Resources.

Ahhh, Phenomenex: This must say something good about the economy, right? Phenomenex has the first "multiple positions" post that I've seen in forever. That said, it's the same four or five slots (especially that 'organic surface chemist' position) that they've been flogging for the past 3 years or so.

[I also remember the Millenium "multiple positions" posts back in the depths of the Great Recession, when milkshake would remind me again and again that there was no evidence that Millenium was actually hiring the people that it was advertising for.]

Khan, I'm looking for the superior intellect: Alexander BioDiscoveries, a startup company, desires a medicinal chemist:
Requirements: Applicants should possess superior intellectual ability, a strong record of previous accomplishment, hold a PhD in Chemistry or related discipline, and have experience in organic or medicinal chemistry, preferably with an emphasis in multi-step organic synthesis of small molecules and peptides using solution and solid phase methods.   LCMS/HPLC experience is preferred. 
Superior.

South San Francisco, CA: Genentech is looking for an experienced B.S./M.S. analytical chemist, or a Ph.D. with 2 years of experience for work in their global QC functions.

Westbury, NY: Spectronics is looking for a chemical engineer?/chemist? for design and production of ultraviolet dyes. Huh.

Cambridge, MA: Vertex is looking for a temporary formulations specialist. 0-4 years experience!

Oh, Kelly: Are you a chemist? Do you like chemistry? Kelly Scientific Resources would like to know if you want to be a clinical nurse consultant -- 5-7 years of patient care or medical device sales required!

ACS Indy Career Fair Watch: 17 positions for the Career Fair, 3 positions for the Virtual Career Fair. 

4 comments:

  1. Dammit... I think I just posses average intellectual ability. I just procrastinate a lot lately and play video games at home instead of working on my papers that I need to publish. I'm an impostor! I don't deserve that superior intellectual ability job. :(

    Still, I know one guy who knows 100% he has superior intellectual ability. Bit of a jerk though. And somewhat of a narcissist, but hey, what do I know? I don't think I should be evaluating people with my average intellect.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Looking for individuals with a "tendency to overachieve"

    Translation: Looking for individuals with a "tendency to work unpaid overtime"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Auugh! How could I have forgotten that one?

      Delete
  3. CoulombicExplosionAugust 13, 2013 at 8:38 PM

    "Kelly" (to the tune of Barry Manilow's "Mandy")

    Job postings pass my way
    Looking at their needs
    I see an anomaly,
    And then I realize,
    How angry you make me, Oh Kelly

    Well you came and you posted without taking
    Note of the audience, Oh Kelly,
    Well you ticked me and with rage I'm now shaking,
    And I wish you away, Oh Kelly.

    ReplyDelete