- "I was a pro wiffleball player, but that got boring."
- "I'm on the run from the Russian mob, so I figured grad school was a good place to hide."
- "College was so awesome with all of my classes, so I was hoping to sign on for another 6 years of lectures."
- "I heard grad school in chemistry pays really well, which is good, because I'm not sure how I'm gonna make my next payment on my Ducati."
- "I'm here to get my Ph.D. in analytical chemistry, but I'm actually training on the side to be a MMA fighter."
- "I wanna get one of those sweet tenure-track gigs."
- "I'm here for the work-life balance I've heard all about."
- "I decided to go to graduate school in chemistry, because I want to invent the next Viagra."
- "I was working in industry and I was tired of getting cold calls from recruiters, so...."
- "Late nights and Taco Bell are really my thing."
- "Well, it was this, or be chained to a GC with no autosampler."
- "I can't really 'tell you about myself', because the CIA has already relocated me 3 times and 4 is the limit.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
12 Fake Things to Say to Your First Year Classmates
So graduate school is starting up soon, and there's usually that awkward moment when all the first years have to stand up and say something about themselves. Here's a few suggestions:
Readers, surely you have better suggestions.