Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Daily Pump Trap: 9/27/16 edition

A few positions posted recently at C&EN Jobs:

Seattle, WA: Startup looking for an experienced (2-4 years) Ph.D. polymer chemist.

Menlo Park. CA: The SLAC National Accelerator Laboratory's SUNCAT Center for Interface Science and Catalysis is searching for 2 Ph.D.-level associate staff scientists; looks to be computational in nature.

The person who takes this position is so screwed: Whoever is writing copy for Polysciences' (Warrington, PA) is completely different than before, I feel. A new opening for a Technical Services Manager (B.S., 3-5 years experience desired), with this gem:
This is a newly created position and we’re looking for someone who is a fearless critical thinker with an entrepreneurial sense.  We want a rock star who is ready to take this position and make it their own!
[Insert Paula Abdul clapping here.]

Columbus, OH: First time I've seen one of these process formulations positions with Scotts Miracle-Gro. Looks like a good position for the right B.S.-level chemist.

A vague description: Not typical for a R&D consulting position to be posted. Huh.

The vaguest description you will see today: From Affinity Research Chemicals (Wilmington, DE):
We are seeking highly motivated synthetic chemists at MS/Ph.D level to join our dynamic team. The main job responsibilities include, but not limited to:  deesign and execute scientific work such that there is a timely delivery of project objectives;  solve complex synthetic problems relating to assigned projects using scientific and technical expertise.
 Huh, dunno what to think of that.


  1. Don't smoke if you want to work for Scotts (http://www.bizjournals.com/columbus/stories/2006/04/17/focus4.html). I wish my wife would stop, but one of the reasons I don't buy Scotts products (other than my general lack of interest in lawn and garden care) is their decisions both not to hire smokers and to fire those working for them. (It's legal, apparently - smokers are not a protected class.) I don't want to give employers in general any more control over my life than I have to. (If health care costs had been the reason for instituting the policy, as Scotts claimed at the time, they could have either raised health care premiums for smokers or cut off coverage for them, but instead they just decided to fire them. They did, however, provide quitting help.)

    1. They fired people for smoking? Was that the reason they cited? Were those fired eligible for unemployment? Were they warned?

      I can see cutting off their coverage. I can even see not hiring them in the first place since they generally don't need to give a reason. Firing seems extreme.

    2. Oh, sorry, I see that you say they actually cited health care costs. Wow.

    3. Been happening for ages--remember Ted Turner, freedom of the press advocate? I stopped smoking ages ago but I still resent intrusive employment practices too.

      "Turner Broadcasting System has refused to hire smokers since November 1986, in part for health reasons, in part because Ted Turner hates smoke, employees say."


  2. Hap,

    Smokers are a protected class in 29 states:


    Vote with your feet!

  3. Found this gem while searching around the other day:


    • Energetic, tenacious, and self-driven to very quickly accomplish (and learn) a lot
    • Eager to gain additional experience – you are eager to prove to the world what you are capable of – ARC is a great place for this
    • Great problem solving skills – you will need to respond to challenges like “how will we reduce the impurities to appropriate levels for our natural-extract polysaccharide?”
    • Resourceful, upbeat, and enjoy getting things done on a budget (translation: you must be frugal, scrappy, continuously hustling, and happy) – you will need to respond to challenges like “how can we most efficiently manufacture clinical trial material”
    • Trustworthy — you will invariably have access to sensitive information

    Good times!