Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Auditor Will Come: from the archives of Leonidas, as translated by Chemjobber

Leonidas speaks to his employees:

"Let no one of us forget or misapprehend the reason we inspected our own facility here today. Not only to make them comply or to just annoy them, our colleagues, but to make them allies against a greater enemy. By persuasion, we hoped. By coercion, in the event. But no matter, they will be our cGMP allies now and we will treat them as such from this moment."

"The Auditor!"

Suddenly Leonidas' voice rose, booming with such explosive emotion that those closest to him started from its sudden power. "The Auditor is why we inspected here today. Her presence loomed, invisible, over every SOP and every logbook...."

"I know many of you think I am half-cracked, I and Kleomenes the plant manager before me. I hear the whispers, and sometimes they're not such whispers." More laughter. "Leonidas hears voices the rest of us don't. He takes no chances with out-of-specification product in an unprofitable manner and prepared for surprise FDA inspections that he has never seen and who many say will never come. All this is true..."

The staff laughed again. "But hear this and never forget it: the Auditor will come. She will come in numbers dwarfing those her corporation sent four years when the QC laboratory and our maintenance records were successfully audited so gloriously in the Pilot Plant. She will come tenfold, a hundredfold mightier and no production record will pass without inspection. And she will come soon."

(with apologies to Steven Pressfield)


  1. What a fitting post in my last week as a lab drone before I transition to the company's QA department.