Thursday, March 19, 2015

Chemjobber is a music fan who uses dental precision topology to create exponential growth of crowding out in new partnerships

Vox has a "buzzwordy" job description generator. Here's a few that I liked:
Chemjobber is a shaman who uses whiteboards to create atomic explanations of increasing in post-zombie invasion societies. 
Chemjobber is a reject who uses democratic revolutions to create unique visions of birthing in maintaining the patriarchy. 
Chemjobber is a music fan who uses ancient Sumerian poetry to create unique visions of metric analysis in big data. 
Chemjobber is a creative artist who uses your expense account to create film direction of turd polishing in the cloud. 
Chemjobber is a reject who uses santeria to create enlightenment of championing in a land war in Asia.
Sadly, my actual job description is not as awesome as these. 

5 comments:

  1. R.B. Woodward is a mastermind who uses quantum mechanics to create exponential growth of championing in home brewing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I got incentivizing! Yeah! #bizspeak

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alex Goldberg is a Nickelback apologist who uses homeopathic solution modeling to create exciting advances of gamifying in swimming in piles of money

    oh god no. except the last part, maybe

    ReplyDelete
  4. DDTea is an analyst who uses death hacking to create memes of dominating in a land war in Asia.

    "Death hacking"... That's a skill I want on my resume.

    DDTea

    ReplyDelete
  5. GraetChem is a rock star who uses ancient Sumerian poetry to create creative strategy of usurping in new partnerships

    With that I think I stand a good chance of getting a social science research grant!

    ReplyDelete